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Monday, June 20, 2011

Porn-O-Matic, Privacy & The Insanity Of Humanity

I am sitting at a gate at DFW waiting for a flight to DC. Not particularly where I would choose to be but I have always embraced the mantra “Don’t worry about the things you can do nothing about”. Seems like a worthy enough goal though sometimes not so easy to execute; I do try though. Like most of us I need to pay the bills so I need my job. Today my job needs me here; end of story. As it happens the day is not too bad so far. The drive to the airport was delay free, the parking lots were not full yet and for a Monday morning the line at security was almost non-existent. The line at Starbucks was longer; go figure. But I can live with that. The only downers on the day are not seeing my wife for a few days and that it is so noisy here; people on the phone left and right. Is it just me or do some people seem to have a propensity for shouting when they use their cell phones? Oh for a little peace and quiet.

So I had my first experience of the “Porn-O-Matic”; that microwave or miniwave or whatever it is full body scanner that has caused so much controversy. Did not seem like a big deal. Legs slightly apart, feet on the yellow “feet”, arms aloft, scanning arm does its thing [a couple of seconds] and I am out of there. Someone somewhere saw an image of me something like the one to the left [image courtesy of Wikipedia]. So what’s the big deal? My thoughts after the jump.

Funnily enough I got to see that it is indeed a big deal to some. The lady behind me was “randomly” picked for the “Porn-O-Matic” but she clearly did not like the idea. She argued and procrastinated; she refused the physical search offered instead and she insisted she be un-randomized and go through the traditional metal detector. The insanity of humanity. “Not an option” once “selected” the TSA Officer politely informed her. The irate traveler would not be satisfied. Last I saw was a TSA supervisor whisking her off somewhere. Hope she was like me; one of those people who likes to arrive really early at the airport.

Now it seems to me there are limited options for security weary travelers:
  • Don’t travel – maybe an option for some on occasion
  • Accept the “Porn-O-Matic” when selected
  • Accept the alternative physical “pat-down” if you really don’t want the “Porn-O-Matic"
  • Do away with Airport security altogether and risk an untimely death on another nightmare terrorist whim. Over dramatic; hyperbole? Perhaps, but it has happened before; it could happen again.
Now The Grumpy Old Limey may, at times, be a couple of bottle tops short of a leak proof six-pack but really? The last option? I think not. That leaves travel and put up with it or stay home. For most of us most of the time that means no choice at all. In which case why do so many get so indignant about it all? Perhaps you can tell me?

The general concern seems to be a privacy one. I cannot get as enthused and wound up by privacy concerns as many. Email has a delete button; my phone has Caller ID, I can choose not to answer the door and so on. Frankly if some shadowy spook closeted in a dingy office somewhere wants to comb through data mined details of my life I say have at it; it is not that interesting and I have nothing to hide but at least I am living it and that is far more interesting than observing it. Of course if there is such data mining it is automated and people are only looking at a minute fraction of the data that is flagged by keywords and I am not egotistical enough to think little old me would be of any interest to anyone. Now I am not a conspiracy nut. On the other hand, I simply don’t know what, if anything, our government, or for that matter any other government, is doing. Perhaps there are things going on, perhaps not. What I do know is that if there are I cannot change them, I cannot alter them – kick in my mantra “Don’t worry about the things you can do nothing about”.

Now I do accept that for many people privacy is a much greater issue and as one who enjoys expressing my opinion I have to respect the right of others to have different opinions. But is this really a privacy issue at all? It seems to me that an invasion of my privacy must involve two elements. Something about me that is out there and, and this is the important part, the “something” out there must be identifiable as relating to me. The “Porn-O-Matic” images are relayed to a TSA Officer in a room off somewhere else. He does not know it is me, he cannot see me; the government always tells the truth right? We will assume in this case it is true. If the TSA Officer sees something he does not like on the image other than my slightly larger than it ought to be belly then he radios someone at the gate/scanner and they take it from there. By my definition this is not even a privacy issue. So, even if you are one of those with a much greater concern than I about privacy reduce your blood pressure and choose to leave this one alone. Your privacy is not being invaded.

One final thought; and I never expected to utter it. Have some sympathy for the TSA Officer. What, can you be serious? Well think about it. An 8 hour shift 5 days a week staring at “Porn-O-Matic” images of people the vast majority of whom are anything but Adonis like. Not employment I would relish. What about you?

Ahh. It's time to board.

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